Heartwood Therapy
So who am I ?
I'm someone who, in the past, has experienced the discomforts of mental health, both personally
and with people I love very much.
I've been hurt by unhealthy and toxic relationships - both in my family and romantically.
I've experienced great grief and loss.
For a large part of my life I experienced that feeling that life is to be endured and that enjoyment is for others.
I'm also someone who has found a level of peace and happiness that I didn't think was possible - and I'm still aiming to get more.
It is for all of these reasons that I have worked hard to understand why we get stuck and how we can change.
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All the experience and qualifications I've built up have been to help me become the
therapist that could have helped me, and those that I love, when we needed it.
What I've learned, both about myself and how we all work, can now help you.
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I'm unusual in that I have two sets of qualifications. One set allows me to call myself a qualified and certified psychotherapeutic counsellor trained to work with adults while
the other set does the same but for working with children and adolescents.
The combination of the two specialities means I can work creatively and in a way that focuses on helping my clients, whatever their ages, feel safe.
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I'm now lucky enough to have worked with children in primary schools, secondary schools,
children's charities, residential children's homes and with adults through an NHS GP practice.
My youngest client has been 5 years old and my oldest was 82.
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I'm constantly working and learning to help children and adults understand why their brains and bodies work as they do and what they can do to live more comfortable and satisfying lives - and then supporting them on that journey. I'm trauma focused which means that I look for what, in our behaviours, is linked to past experiences - none of us are broken, we're all just trying our best to deal with life, but sometimes, unconsciously, using tools that don't help us anymore.
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You may also have noticed that I'm male - not a common thing amongst therapists but often useful in challenging past negative experiences of masculinity.
I've learnt to be a man who is comfortable being kind, nurturing, vulnerable but still strong, especially with feeling my own emotions because sometimes that can be really scary for us all.
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I've been in therapy myself for over 5 years with a brilliant therapist and I owed that journey to my future clients so that I would never ask them to do something that I'd not been willing, despite the difficulties, to do myself.
So much trauma starts with men but I'd like to think that some of us can help heal too.
And that a new experience of positive masculinity can be a powerful thing.
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How do I work?
Where has my approach come from?
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Trauma can look very different for different people.
Sometimes its an obvious event like a car crash or an act of violence but sometimes we suffer from events
we don't even recognise as trauma. Often our trauma comes from childhood but sometimes we come from the most loving of families in which, for some reason, our parents weren't able to give us what we needed when we were children.
Maybe they were stressed or anxious or stuck in dealing with their own trauma? Maybe they had physical health issues? Maybe they were focused on other things or didn't know how to give their children what they needed because they hadn't received it themselves? Or maybe they had addictions or mental health problems that incapacitated them?
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Often the impacts of this can last way into adulthood and we need to explore past events with kindness kindness for ourselves but also, maybe, with kindness in understanding our parents too.
I've worked in settings where I've helped some of the most dysregulated people but I can also help those of us who don't always recognise our dysregulation but know that somethings not quite right, that we aren't living the lives we want or having the relationships we deserve.
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Often people are unsure whether they need support from a counsellor, a therapist or a psychotherapist. I'm qualified and experienced enough to describe myself as either of these and will happily discuss my qualifications and modalities for those of you who would like to hear about them, but ultimately, and most importantly, the only person that will work for you is the one that makes you feel safe, secure, heard and validated.... and who you feel is strong enough to walk with you on your therapeutic journey and give you the support you need.
Feel free to get in touch to get a feel for whether you think I'm the person to do that for you.
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My Therapy Rooms
Located conveniently in the centre of Timperley village my therapy rooms offer a safe space to explore ourselves and our issues using a whole range of methods. We can just sit and talk if that suits you or we can use a whole range of creative techniques to explore what's going on in our lives.
Training and Modalities
I'm what you call an 'Integrative' therapist. This means I have expertise in a whole range of psychotherapeutic models and techniques. But they are just tools that I can offer you if I feel they might be useful and appropriate. More important is maybe that I'm also a 'relational' therapist which means I see our relationship
as the most important part of your therapeutic process.
This means that together we will work out and decide what suits you best - what is right and
comfortable for you.
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I have a Master's degree in Psychology and Diplomas in both Adult and Child Psychotherapeutic Counselling
alongside a bunch of other qualifications. One of my core modalities is Transactional Analysis (TA) which uses a model of Parent, Adult and Child to understand how we interact with ourselves and others.
Some of you might recognise the Drama Triangle (I've included a picture) which can be another great
Transactional Analysis model for understanding how we work. But we use the models or we don't - its your journey and you get to decide what we use, with my help if you want it.
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If you are one of us that experiences some form of neurodiversity hopefully you'll recognise the importance of this personalised approach I'm trying to describe - we all need different things according to our specific needs.
Hopefully we can work together to understand what your needs are and how they can be better met, both in the therapy room and in the wider world.